Question:
Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train

4. Usually come when called

5. Never drive your car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't wear your clothes

10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Answer:
I love that!~


Answer:
I especially love the bit about the bed, and advising visitors to stay off the furniture!


Answer:
That is awesome!!!!!! That is sooooooooo typical of Aspen!!!! silly cat!!! lol.. we have a king size bed.. and both of us are on one side and Aspen is on the other... lol... and yes.. the bathroom thing is soooo true!! lol... raceway??? lol Nascar has nothing on my house!!!!!! lol and as for stopping on a dime!!! HA!!!!


Answer:
I love the bed one...Bear has literally pushed me off the bed and onto the floor before. He has also kicked me into the wall. I have a queen size bed...If I had a bigger room, I might consider a king.


Answer:
LOL, too funny... Odie does most of those things too... lol


Answer:
I'm going to send a copy of that to my brother & sister-in-law, who got a new puppy 2 months ago


Answer:
Ok, because of the other post about not posting I'm going to post. I have printed the first section "Dear Dogs and Cats" and I'm going to tape it low on my fridge. The reason I am doing this is because it really enjoyed reading it and I think my daughter will notice it on the bottom of my fridge ( I recently cleaned all the magnets and notes off my fridge, so it's bare) and she will enjoy it too!


FYI, normally I would just go ahead and print it without saying anything, you would never know I read this post, but I do read the posts, I just usually have nothing to say.......lol


Answer:
Three cats and two dogs. All but one rescued from shelters and the other found at the house. They all find us humans somewhat intersting as toys but otherwise quite useless. It seems to be their world and we are only allowed to interact if we behave ourselves.http://www.pets-on-the-net.com/forum...s/icon_lol.gif