Question:
a friend of mine is moving, she is ill and has no choice but to move in with a friend of hers and place her cats etc. she is heartbroken. well, two of the cats are her daughters and will be going withher daughters to their new apartment at their school, but damascus is hers and he has come to live with me. macky is a bengal. gorgeous tawny baby with leopard spots all over his sides and some stripes down his spine. and a belly that almost touches the ground and wobbles like jell-o when he moves!!! he was a breeder at a cattery and was kept in a cage for 5 years when she received him. she says his belly was dragging the ground then, and he had no socialization skills at all! he is a slightly skittish boy anyway, but since coming here, he is terrified. he will not come out from under the bed. if i lay down by it and reach under, he will rub against me and purr, but he will NOT come out. he has snuck out a few time to potty and eat, but he is just so scared of a new house and new kitties to get used to etc.
i know he needs a lot of love and patience, but i am just heartbroken that he is going through this. how can i make it easier on him? i can't lock the other kitties away from him, and they are not being mean in any way, so do not suggest that. i guess i know that it is all on his time, i just feel so bad for him. he will love on me, but is definately not enjoying his life right now, ya know?


Answer:
It is always hard bringing a new cat in- as you feel that you're doing EVERYONE a disservice until they learn to get along. Macky might just be a skittish cat by nature (or by living the first of his life so solitary)... maybe noone noticed if he felt braver with his old friends around. My Hermes is a very skiddish girl- she always disappears when company shows. My sisterinlaw- who is in love with Hermes- will call on the cell when she gets on our road and tell us to catch Hermes so she will have a chance to hold her! LOL! Otherwise.. it's right under the bed and there's no tempting her out (the cat, not the sister-in-law)!
My advice... just give him time. Keep doing what you're doing- petting him adn letting him know he's welcome. Maybe move the food a little farther away each day so he has to only get a bit braver at a time. Before you know it, you'll be sitting watching TV one night and he'll wander in, sniff all around, and find a NEW favorite spot.
Also, best just to inroduce him to your other cats one at a time at first, so there's less of a chance that he feels intimidated.
Good luck. And congrats on your new baby- even if he IS a scaredy baby! LOL!


Answer:
I second what jennawing suggested.
Though I have a suggestion of my own as well.
If Macky really appreciates your petting him and maybe comes to expect it, perhaps you could start by slowly decreasing the amount of time you pet him, and increase the amount of time that you just stay in sight. Maybe, as he gets used to your presence and he desires your petting, he will slowly come closer to the edge of the bed or even out from underneath the bed.
Hope he feels comfortable soon!


Answer:
Very good point! Thank you, vel!


Answer:
Just keep doing what you're doing. It may take two days, two weeks, or two months but he will come around with lots of understanding and patience. Just let him stay in his room for now. The fact that he comes out to eat and go to the bathroom is certainly VERY good. Just make sure the litter box is close by so he doesn't feel like he has to hold it and make him sick. Ditto for food. Best of luck and keep us posted


Answer:
I agree with everyone - just give him time to get settled in and comfortable with the new environment and he will get brave and venture out. When I brought Aoife home she hid behind the toilet for most of the afternoon. I just let her be, she had a nap back there and emerged later to explore. Sounds like your guy will take longer than she did, but he'll get there
How long have you had him there now?


Answer:
here is the funny thing, right after i posted this and sent an update saying the same things to my groups, i layed on the floor and started talking to him and he came out to me and we got on the bed and cuddled for a couple of hours. then he went to the bathroom and back under the bed. then, after i woke up, i got in the computer and he came and jumped up on the cmputer, it kind of scared me! then he walked around the room, explored, etc and then came back to me. finally, i had to elave to go to the store and he was still out. when i cam back in to check emails a little bit ago, he was under there, but when i sat down he came out and got on the bed and checked out my shopping bags and walked around for a while. now he is sleeping under the bed with his nose poking out. funny, as soona s i started to worry a little, he decided to throw me for a loop-just like a man!!! and i just found out i am getting his sister, who ahs the most striking markings-even an eight ball on one hip! that will definately make it all so much btter for him, and easier for her!! i looked at new digi cams today, but did nto have time to really shop. i am gonna check out best buy or circuit city first. pictures soon, i hope!


Answer:
Yay! That's all really great news!


Answer:
Great!


Answer:
That's awesome!
So glad that he's started to come around!
All it takes is a bit of patience and some lovin' But you already knew that!