Question:
Hello,


I have a black lab / collie cross and I am having some serious problems with her. She has always been timid and it was always difficult to get her to go outside.

When my wife lets her out she usually goes and does her thing, but when I let her out I usually can't get her outside even. And if she does go she lies on the ground on her side and stares up at me. I can't get her to budge. If I try to make her walk she will just stay on the ground and even if I insist she just slides along the ground like a paper weight. Not even cookies or gentle talking / petting can get her to go outside for me. Now that my wife is away for 2 weeks I have a real problem. I come home every day with mess on the floor. This cycle goes every day. I can;t even walk her to the park unless I want to drag her all the way down the pavement. Even alot of the times she wont go to the bathroom for my wife. She doesnt lie down in fear as with me but darts inside quickly. At least she does go to the bathroom more often than not with her. With me it seems like she is morbidly terrified of me. I also dont help the matter any when I get upset at her from this behaviour and yell and sometimes give her a smack on the nose.

I am feeling at this point that the only remedy is to have her put down. My wife will never accept this though. Not in a million years. I just don't understand this. A 6 year old dog being so terrified of me.

I am at wits end and need to find a way to get the dog to trust me and not be so scared. Cookies, petting, gentle talk - patience... none of this even shows the slightest benefit. Also, if the dog is outside with my wife and she hears another dog bark or any type of noise she darts inside in terror it seems.

If anyone can offer any suggestions as to what I can do I would be so grateful. I can only see putting her down as the best solution right now which will probably drive my wife away because she will blame me forever for this.

Please help.

Answer:
Every time you raise your voice or smack her on the nose, you are giving her a reason to be afraid of you. The next time you feel angry enough to do either one of those things, turn around and walk away. Don't go near her again until you calm down. That is first and foremost.

How long have you had this dog?

Answer:
Firstly I am disgusted with what you have even considered doing.

You wonder why your dog is afraid of you? your hitting it, yelling at it, dragging it along the ground.

2 minutes of patience, gentle talking and treats will not suffice. Your dog needs to come to trust you. This will take weeks/months to accomplish, not mere moments of kindness.

I urge you to seek an animal behavourist's support to help teach you as well as your dog. If you do not want to do this, then do the right thing and surrender her to a rescue.

Do not put her down because you have failed her up to this point in her life, it is not fair to her. I would also like to believe that you are a better person than my initial impression of you and that you will do what is right.


There will most definately be other people who are posting followups here, I only ask that you look into all the avenue's that they offer.

Answer:
Let me get this straight… your dog won’t urinate in front of you and you want to put him down?

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I have owned the dog since it was 3 months old. It has always been timid about going to the bathroom.

I totally agree that smacking, yelling and dragging is not an answer. But to be honest what else can I do? You have no idea what I go through with the dog. I carry her outside and try and walk and coax her to the grass. All I get is the dog lying there agraid and will not move. No matter how long I wait will she respond. Then when I wake up in the morning and come home from work I have to clean the mess from the floor.

This is unbearable. It is very stressful living like this. I have always been good to the dog - I may get upset at times because of this but rarely. I usually just let her run back in and deal with the mess and I do not yell and scream at her while cleaning the mess.

You have to put yourself in my shoes. Dog will not go pee, acts like it's terrified of you and messes on the floor 2 times a day .. every day!

I even tried putting her on a chain for 2 hours and she lied on the ground and wouldn't walk to the grass and go pee. Just lied on the ground. My wife who hasn't a mean bone in her body and loves and adores this dog to death also has problems with her. She doesn;t have as many as myself but they are there and wife has never even raised her voice to the dog since day 1.

I just don't know what to do.... My wife is away for 2 weeks and I can't go through this every day. I know everyone says to be patient, no smacking - talk nicely. 6 years of this has resulted in no progress. What else can I do?

Answer:
My best advice would be to call your vet and see if he/she can recommend a behaviourist in your area. Take the dog, or have them come to you and see what they recommend. There may be something you are doing unknowingly to cause the dog to fear you.

Answer:
you need to talk to an animal behavourist, explain to them what you have told us. Unfortuneately none of us here is one. You should call your vet (any vet really) and ask who they recomend. It definately does sound like your dog has issue's , I just don't feel they are any where near an extent to warrant putting her down. It does sound like you and your wife love your dog, Please look into this.

Answer:
I can’t fathom this idea….almost 6 years of this and only now it’s a problem? Anyways, kudos for hanging in there for so long… but you never thought this was a problem before?

You’ll probably have to go back to basics…. How did you housetrain him? with a crate? Maybe you can go back to using a crate or even gating off an area in the house.

One thing for sure is that you’re going to have to build a stronger more trusting relationship with your dog….Now we can all start taking guesses at the situation from different perspectives but I think the best thing to do (and it was already been stated) would be to seek a behaviorist that does in house sessions.

Answer:
Kona Dawg is right. It's going to take a long time to gain her trust, and it definitely won't happen before your wife gets home. Seek the help of a behaviourist, and in the mean time, keep cleaning up the mess without comment to the dog. Just know that this is correctable with professional help.

Here's one thing to consider (and I say "one thing" because your issue probably covers many facets). My dog isn't afraid of my husband, but she sure is confused by him. He has no idea how to vary the pitch of his voice. So when he says "Good girl" it sounds exactly the same to her as when he says "Phoebe, no". Is your voice on the lower side, even when you're talking nice to her? Try raising it an octave or two. You're going to feel silly, but it sounds much nicer to her.

Another thing to try is sit on the floor when you're petting her and talking to her. When you're standing over her, you're more imposing to her. Getting down on her level might make her more comfortable.

Good luck!

Answer:
For some reason, this dog has "learned" to be afraid of you over the last 6 years. Getting her to "trust" must be earned, not just taught. Every time, you lose control (that is what you're actually doing) you're actually undoing any headway you may have made. You really need a behaviorist to assess what is happening between you and your dog. It's not just the dog, you need to know how to modify your behavior with the dog also. You're reacting to each other. Not saying you're a bad person, but you need to share the responsibility for change.

Answer:
Oh Boy, I feel for your.

I think that you have instilled the fear into this dog and it won't go because of that. You need to be more calming etc....

Where do you live? I would love to help you out if I could. Have you contacted a trainer at all? I know the ones in our area will give advice over the phone.

We recently adopted a 7-yr old Golden Girl and she would not go for walks, no way, no how. I have made much progress with her and have some ideas that may help you also.

I feel bad for the dog, I really do. Its not the dogs fault, it has a fear problem. Its like us in a public washroom. Some people can't go if others are in the room. Could be the same with your dog.

Do you have some pics?

Heather and her 3 Golden Girls

Answer:
Thank you all for the suggestions and not too harsh of critique..even though I probably deserve it.

I am in London Ontario. I don't have any pics to attach. I don't own a cam or scanner, sorry.

I did make some headway today - got home from work and the dog didn't mess and she went for a walk with me to the park and did her "business". I congratulated her with praise and a cookie

Hopefully this will be the norm from now on.

Answer:
It is a start and always try to use a very calm tone of voice with her. Praising and rewarding will help to build her trust. Do not raise your voice or get agitated with her dogs can sense this. They are very attuned to your emotions even when you try and hide them. I would get in touch with a behaviourist I am sure they would be able to help more. Good luck

Answer:
6 YEARS ,I dont get it

Answer:
maby your pooch does not like the feel of grass on her toes. try putting sone patio stones down with her urine scent on them for her to pee on or try keeping her on pavement

Answer:
Originally Posted by pug lover
maby your pooch does not like the feel of grass on her toes. try putting sone patio stones down with her urine scent on them for her to pee on or try keeping her on pavement

That may work but usually dogs will not pee on a hard surface as it splashed.... gross I know but think about it... That's why dogs usually will pee on a carpet if one is around rather than on a hard floor.

Answer:
Your dog needs to learn to trust you again. If you don't have a crate for her, buy one. Make sure it is big enough for her to turn around, stand, and stretch out in. Leave it open at all times for her unless she is in it. How long are you leaving her? What breed of dog is she? Was she from a rescue, pet store, or breeder? Is is possible she was abused at one point durring her life by another person?

It would be a good idea for you to go to obedience school with her. This will teach her to trust you and obey you.

Answer:
I realize this thread is a bit old, but I just wanted to chime in with this-

If at any time you made a big fuss at your dog for pottying in the house, she may have generalized (they say they can't generalize, but I think they can) that peeing in front of you AT ALL is a bad thing.

So she waits until you are gone and potties with absolutely no retribution.

Pee in front of Dad= unsafe (can mean just making you irritated, which is scary to sensitive dogs)

Pee when dad is gone= safe

Crate training is a fabulous idea. Start over from scratch, as if she were a puppy. Preferably on a weekend or when you have a few days to devote to this. Crate---> outside-----> if potty----> treats and praise, but not overboard (may be overstimulating for sensitive dogs)----> no potty----> back in crate for 15 to 30 minutes and repeat.

She can't hold it forever, so she must pee and poop in front of you eventually.

Answer:
London area animal Behaviourist: John wade (519) 671-0911 comes highly recommended

Atleast give him an initial call.

Answer: